Insights

Something we wish more people understood is how genuinely tender this dynamic can actually be. There is a hedonistic, taboo element to it, and that part is real and arousing. The deeper thread for both of us is connection. Holding hands and looking into each other's eyes whilst Evie is with another man is one of the more romantic things that happens in our relationship, even if it is not a scene most people would recognise as romantic.

Hotwifing and cuckolding get tangled together constantly, treated as interchangeable when they're actually quite different experiences with distinct psychological foundations. The confusion around terminology often prevents people from understanding what they're genuinely seeking. You might be drawn to one whilst being completely uninterested in the other, but if you can't articulate the difference it can all feel pretty murky.

The conversation around sex work tends to be dominated by assumptions, moral judgment and stereotypes that have very little to do with what actually happens. In my work as an escort, I've come to know firsthand how varied and deeply human the reasons are for seeking out professional intimate services. They're as nuanced as the people themselves, and they deserve to be understood rather than dismissed.

Jealousy is one of the more uncomfortable emotions we tend to encounter in close relationships. It rises up sharp and burning, often out of nowhere, and can turn confident, settled people into anxious ones who suddenly find themselves overanalysing a glance, a text, a slightly-too-long laugh. Many of us have been told that secure, evolved people don't get jealous, and that feeling it means we're insecure, immature or somehow not doing the inner work we should be.

For most of my adult life I have been primarily attracted to women, and every romantic relationship I've built has been with a woman. More recently I've come to recognise something more layered about how my desire actually works. I can experience genuine attraction to other men, but only when feminine energy is also present in the dynamic.

Sex, sexuality and intimacy often get used as if they're interchangeable. The three are related, of course, but they're not the same thing, and collapsing them together tends to leave us confused about what we're actually craving.